Chasing Taillights

I had no idea I started this blog with my first post of Raising Gabester without publishing it. 

I read it again today and it truly resonates with me still, especially today, so I published it while really, I wrote it over a year ago I think. 

You know how you're driving behind a really fast car and you're just after their taillights? You can see it, and you want to inch closer, and yet, sometimes, you just see the lights going farther and farther away from you. That's how I feel lately. Isn't that stupid? And selfish? And so...Asian? I know. What can I say? We're Asian. 

One of your school basketball teammates is going on to play nationally. I'd be lying if I say I wasn't hoping that was you. Oh but our pedigree is so different! His father played pro ball internationally, even though he did not make it (by choice or not) in the NBA. And look at us, Gabe. I said we'll start in the middle, and here we are just falling behind. Is it me or the taillight of your dream is moving away from us? 

Over and over again we have that discussion. You have so many other gifts, I'd say, to do something else with your life. And looking at your current pattern of time spent, I think it's fitting to say that you do enjoy doing an array of other things in life. I'd love you just the same. And I wouldn't be upset when I see you not working hard, and that feeling like I'm chasing that taillight, and you can just play and have fun at whatever venue you're in, and goof off, and still walk away knowing you exercised. What more can a parent want?

Ok so we got out of your 12 year old physical feeling a little down too. You're overweight, they said. The pandemic does not help. It does not. I suppose I figured most other NBA dream chasers your age are in similar position-- while working on the game themselves, there's not a lot of actual team tournaments going on, and a lot of them struggle to stay motivated. Not our taillights apparently. Of course not. But we are. Majority of your teammates at Cobras aren't comfortable doing tournaments, and only a fraction of them come out to practice and scrimmage. Some days you perform pretty well in the scrimmage, but recently I feel weighted down. Literally. 

Hey that does not mean we're going to give up. I have learned over the years of raising you and your sister, that I don't have the right to give up when you're still chasing your dream full steam ahead. I wonder where this journey will take me, but as I tell you, we all need to be patient. Because you're only 12. Because taillights may be getting dimmer, but the road hasn't ended. Because really, what harm is there for you to chase your dream? I know you're close to the taillights than I could ever imagine already. Hang tight, Gabester. We're going to go faster now!