Chasing Taillights

I had no idea I started this blog with my first post of Raising Gabester without publishing it. 

I read it again today and it truly resonates with me still, especially today, so I published it while really, I wrote it over a year ago I think. 

You know how you're driving behind a really fast car and you're just after their taillights? You can see it, and you want to inch closer, and yet, sometimes, you just see the lights going farther and farther away from you. That's how I feel lately. Isn't that stupid? And selfish? And so...Asian? I know. What can I say? We're Asian. 

One of your school basketball teammates is going on to play nationally. I'd be lying if I say I wasn't hoping that was you. Oh but our pedigree is so different! His father played pro ball internationally, even though he did not make it (by choice or not) in the NBA. And look at us, Gabe. I said we'll start in the middle, and here we are just falling behind. Is it me or the taillight of your dream is moving away from us? 

Over and over again we have that discussion. You have so many other gifts, I'd say, to do something else with your life. And looking at your current pattern of time spent, I think it's fitting to say that you do enjoy doing an array of other things in life. I'd love you just the same. And I wouldn't be upset when I see you not working hard, and that feeling like I'm chasing that taillight, and you can just play and have fun at whatever venue you're in, and goof off, and still walk away knowing you exercised. What more can a parent want?

Ok so we got out of your 12 year old physical feeling a little down too. You're overweight, they said. The pandemic does not help. It does not. I suppose I figured most other NBA dream chasers your age are in similar position-- while working on the game themselves, there's not a lot of actual team tournaments going on, and a lot of them struggle to stay motivated. Not our taillights apparently. Of course not. But we are. Majority of your teammates at Cobras aren't comfortable doing tournaments, and only a fraction of them come out to practice and scrimmage. Some days you perform pretty well in the scrimmage, but recently I feel weighted down. Literally. 

Hey that does not mean we're going to give up. I have learned over the years of raising you and your sister, that I don't have the right to give up when you're still chasing your dream full steam ahead. I wonder where this journey will take me, but as I tell you, we all need to be patient. Because you're only 12. Because taillights may be getting dimmer, but the road hasn't ended. Because really, what harm is there for you to chase your dream? I know you're close to the taillights than I could ever imagine already. Hang tight, Gabester. We're going to go faster now!

We'll start in the middle

For over six years, I've been raising you to play basketball. Your dream is to play in the NBA someday. 

You liked it from the get go. You were able to pick up a lot of tips and pointers that the coach told you right away because you're a very analytic thinker. You process the information given to you with a lot of brain power. Big brain, you call it. 

But you didn't love it right away. I certainly helped pushed it along with that. We'd play Jr. NBA and eventually went on to play in CYBL and you're playing AAU with the Cobras now. I think I regret not letting you start AAU a little earlier, but I had asked you to earn your way in.  AAU is very costly. It takes a lot of time and money. Either way, I think God guided your steps exactly how He saw fit. When you played with the Fireballs, you were more experienced than most of the other players on the team. Coach Phil asked you to run point. I was so excited for you. From that point on, I think, you were really hooked. You're such a timid and reserved boy, so this isn't the kind of sport you would naturally choose to go into. However, you were put in a position where you can think and process a lot of information to execute. That was a match made in heaven, literally. You would put in hours at the park with whoever showing up. Your buddies Zach, Larry, and Brandon along with a lot of other guys helped you. They are all very mature boys that allowed you space to do your things. You're young, but they know you're serious about playing basketball. 

You certainly are not like a normal basketball player. You lack aggressiveness. When someone falls on the ground or about to be knocked over, you think about the person first. Instead of thinking about how that could translate to points. You also hate someone who's arrogant. That's not to say when you make a great play you don't get all giddy inside and get excited. You just contain those emotions within you very well. This made you different than a lot of the other players you meet. When your teammates are all whooping, yapping, and fooling around, you stand there with your frowning face without a word. I think you secretly judge them, as they do you. 

No you're not like a basketball player at all. Everything from the inside of you to the outside.  You're made differently. You are pretty strong but you have regular size legs and arms. You have your baby hands still, and your face reflects that of a typical Asian boy. In your downtime you read, and try to figure out rubix cubes. You're not really that tall, though you're not short, and your reaction time is quite slow. Your strength is in how you're unselfish and utilize that brain of yours to make terrific decisions on the court. And you are willing to work hard. You're willing to work three times as hard as others who are born with it so that you can get to your dream, and I had promised to help you chase that dream, no matter how impossible it seems. 

I'm here to document that process. We're 6.5 years in already, so we'll start in the middle. You're an average-size 11 year-old Chinese American boy who's chasing a seemingly unattainable dream. I believe you can get as far as you want, with all those limitations, because I believe in hard work. Above all, you're chasing that dream with your God who's in control of all things. Your'e not alone. You'll never have to be.